Worship Issues

As a Christian, I love worshiping  the TRINITY, however there are some things that are a distraction to me:

     In my church one of  worship leaders will say " We're going to teach you a new song " This is normally not a problem, but, ninety percent of the time we  do not ever sing that song again. Why should we learn it? Maybe there should be a more honest introduction to the song. After all  being honest is what GOD wants us to be right? Maybe we should hear , "We probably won't sing this song again, but we're going to teach it to you anyway."

   We often sing songs in a key that most men if they can hit it, they can't sustain it. I think my voice cracking worse than a teenage boy would provide more of a distraction to those around me. I'm sure the wives of other guys feel the same way.

 

 There is also the  person who can't sing well ,and throws you off. Okay this is probably the category I fall into.I normally sing better when I'm pretending Which explains why my friends ditch me to go sit somewhere else once the service begins, or why my wife is the only one who sits next to me .I normally sing better when I'm pretending to be somebody else. My Neil Diamond is awesome, just ask my wife.

The person who worships weirdly, like having his hand in his back pocket tapping in beat to the music. Yes I actually saw this. I'm sorry, seeing somebody pat their rear end in worship is distracting. If you do this please stop it.

There is the woman who wears too much perfume , and cause allergy attacks to the people around her. Where are her girlfriends to help her? She must not have any friends. Seriously ladies, help this poor woman apply perfume correctly.

    I have a odd ability to write parody lyrics in my head. I guess I must have listened to too much Weird Al growing up.

This is my, and my wife, thinking of somebody singing with bad breath to  the tune of Chris Tomlin's song "How Great is our GOD"

                                                      Your breath really stinks 

                                                      You need a mint

                                                      Your breath really stinks

                                                      Don't sing with me

                                                      Your breath your breath really stinks

I'm not alone in this affliction. A friend of mine ,who happens to be a worship leader, was thinking this in regards to Chris Tomlin's song  "Indescribable" Apparently he was watching "The Princess Bride" recently.

                                                   Inconceivable

                                                   Inconceivable

                                                  This word does not mean what you think it does mean

                                                  You are such a clod (okay that last line was mine)

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